My lucky streak is over. I’ve finally experienced the horror of a Pauly Shore movie. For years I’ve been stubborn in ignoring anything he’s made. In passing on witnessing Shore’s talents for all these years, I may have underestimated his talents; correction, I may have overestimated his talents. Not only is Bio-Dome not even remotely funny; it could possibly be the worst Hollywood movie I’ve ever seen.
It’s Earth Day and to celebrate, a group of scientists is starting an effort to live for a year inside a sealed bubble. The bubble is designed to reflect the different climate conditions of the world, minus the pollution. Over the course of the annum, the scientists will conduct experiments, farm the land and lead a dull and isolated lifestyle. Enter Bud (Shore) and Doyle (Stephen Baldwin), two stoner buddies looking for a place to pee. Thinking that the Bio-Dome is a mall, they manage to sneak their way inside and end up getting locked in. Mayhem ensues as the scientists try to stop the two from wrecking all of their experiments and destroying the project.
So it’s the establishment versus the 20-something partying losers who have yet to reach puberty attitude-wise. For Bud and Doyle, a productive day includes a trip to 7-11 for a Big Gulp. And we’re supposed to laugh at that? Or how about Shore’s constant attempts to give the Pee Wee Herman laugh a slacker grunge spin? Sorry Pauly, but I’m pretty sure a classroom full of monkeys line dancing would garner more laughs. The teaming of Shore with Baldwin makes for one thud after another. To them, insistent screaming is supposed to create a Pavlovian laughter reaction. Pardon me if I just stare at the screen and drool mindlessly instead.
You know a movie’s bad when you can guess what is going to happen half-an-hour before it actually does. For example, let’s take the two female Bio-Dome scientists (played by Dara Tomanovich and Aussie pop star Kylie Minogue). Both are beautiful – the kind of girls Bud and Doyle could only dream of getting. You think they’re going to hit on the ladies with cheesy pick-up lines? Only the worst ones in the book. Will they work? There’s a definite cycle of events that’s not hard to figure out, especially since Bud and Doyle are meant to be loveable losers.
I guess there is some good coming from the fact I’ve finally seen a Pauly Shore movie. It’s not fair to say you don’t like something you haven’t experienced. But now that I have watched him at work I can justly state that Pauly Shore’s ‘talents’ suck.
