The Blair Witch Project proved that a couple of bucks and a camcorder can make a movie that audiences enjoy and remember. Unfortunately, like most trailblazers it has spawned numerous wannabes that, quite frankly, stink. Da Hip Hop Witch is a supposedly-funny take-off of the Blair Witch concept that acts more like a promotional video for several popular rap stars. The scariest thing about this awful film is that names like Eminem, Mobb Deep and even Vanilla Ice are in the credits, so this movie will likely find an audience among rap fans.
The film’s plot (as close as it comes to having one) focuses on a supposed witch that is terrorizing popular hip hop singers. An ambitious journalist tries to learn the story behind the witch. At the same time, an eclectic group of five white kids ventures out of the suburbs and into the inner city to expose the witch as a publicity stunt created to sell records.
Like Blair Witch, the camera acts as a documentary eye, filming each rap star’s story of what they experienced when attacked by the Hip Hop Witch. The film is presented in the style of a television show called “Hip Hop Witch TV” that seems to perpetually be on the air. It does not make a lot of sense that a journalist (Stacii Jae Johnson) would be digging to get the story of the witch when it already has its own television show, but this inane premise is the least of the movie’s weaknesses.
A good 80 percent of the film is devoted to rappers spewing off to the video camera about how hideous the witch is. This not only contributes nothing to the movie’s plot; it also forces us to sit through everyone repeating everyone else, with the only difference being variations in the amount of profanity these guys use.
Perhaps the only redeeming aspect of watching this movie is seeing that Vanilla Ice is in fact alive, and did not fall of the face of the earth. Unfortunately, he has about as much appeal now as he did in his 16th minute of fame.
The concept of the five white kids from the suburbs looking for the witch in the inner city projects had the potential for being a worthy satire. This, and all other possible appeal is lost, though, amongst the countless anecdotes of the terrorized rappers. As the suburbanites believe, Da Hip Hop Witch does ultimately seem like nothing more than an amateurish publicity stunt intended to sell records. Anything this weak cannot be considered a serious attempt at making a film.
