Loaded Weapon 1's paper-thin plot centres on the hunt to get General Mortars (William Shatner is so bland here as to be nearly invisible on screen), who is lacing the cookies of The Wilderness Girls with cocaine. In his attempt to cover his tracks, Mortars arranges for a hit man (Tim Curry) to kill Sergeant York (Whoopi Goldberg), the cop who’s on the trail. Wes Luger (Samuel L. Jackson), York’s former partner, is brought in on the case and paired with the suicidal Jack Colt (Emilio Estevez) to bring the cop killers to justice.
Why, one wonders, make a parody of a series that already parodies itself? The way-over-the top scripts and performances in the Lethal Weapon series are already crammed with in-jokes, and as the series reached numbers three and four, it began to look like a satire of itself. Of course, it might be argued that this film isn't just parodying the Lethal Weapon series; it also opens fire on Basic Instinct and the Die Hard series (among others). But it does this so sophomorically, one must wonder why the makers of this film aren't working in late night television, where their talents more clearly belong. At midnight, people will laugh at things that only make them groan at nine in the evening.
Emilio Estevez is deadly in this role: he has no screen presence (he makes his brother Charlie Sheen look like Laurence Olivier), and his attempt to imitate Leslie Nielson's (Naked Gun) deadpan delivery is flatter than a fallen soufflé. Sam L. Jackson, in an admission that pains me because he can be so mesmerising on screen – is merely adequate in the Danny Glover-like role of a cop on the brink of retirement. His delivery at least hints at having some familiarity with the concept of comic timing.
It is impossible not to describe this film without referring to others in the genre. In its attempt to imitate Naked Gun, Loaded Weapon 1 highlights its own deficiencies. While David Zucker and his Naked Gun team will mine moments of inspired craziness fearlessly and tastelessly, the creative minds behind Loaded Weapon are remarkably cautious in their approach to the material, as if they are afraid to offend. However, it is not just difficult, but absolutely impossible to parody or satirise if you are not also willing to offend. Every gag in this film, whether verbal or visual, is so measured, innocuous and bland that no one could possibly take offence at it, and therein lies the central failure of this film; it is far too timid. This is not, after all, a drawing room comedy.
All of this complaining masks the reality that the film is not completely hopeless. There is a handful of cute bits – like the surveillance camcorders in the convenience store that hover over Estevez as he reads a magazine, then turn away coyly when he looks over his shoulder at them. But boy, are they few, and man, are they far between.
